~~I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past~~
'Beautiful people are those who do beautiful things'
Funny Quotes
Sex is like a game of cards...... if you dont have a partner you better have a good hand .
Dont follow in my footsteps because I run into walls.
Almost anything is easier to get into than out of. - Allens Law
What goes around usually gets dizzy and falls over.
When life hands you a lemon, demand a Corona to go with it.
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge... others just gargle.
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
When your dreams turn to dust, vacuum.
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
Im not crazy... Im just intellectually independent.
Few women admit their ages... few men act theirs.
Twenty four hours in a day, twenty four beers in a case... coincidence, I think not.
Cupid requires target practice for every time he shoots me, he hits me right between the eyes so that I am too blind to see.
I have learned that the dashing white knight who was supposed to sweep me off my feet has apparently gotten lost in the forest.
Dont believe a single thing you say... youre not as dumb as those you play.
Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes... theres too much fraternizing with the enemy. - Henry Kissinger
If any man would be a fool not to have me... then why am I still alone?
Ill listen to logic and reason when it comes out on CD.
Ive gotta be me... everyone was already taken.
.sgniht ta kool uoy yaw eht egnahc ot tog evuoY. - Bazooka Joe
Dont jump to conclusionsyou may fall flat on your face. - Bazooka Joe
The best things come to those who wait... the only thing that comes to those who wait, are the leftovers from those who hustle.
Conscience: the inner vice which warns us that someone may be looking. - H.L. Mencken
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. - Walter Bagehot
I assume full responsibility for my actions... except those that are someone elses fault.
I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle aged men. - Kin Hubbard
